


To Hell and Back (For You)

by Sparkles_and_Trash



Category: South Park
Genre: Boys In Love, Kenny goes to hell, Kenny is a sweetheart, M/M, Slow Burn, Stan is soft, Stenny is the main pairing, Swearing, the others are kinda backround ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-06-24 03:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19715233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparkles_and_Trash/pseuds/Sparkles_and_Trash
Summary: Stan and Kenny find themselves growing closer as they go trough High School, but just as things are starting to come together, Stan feels himself worrying a lot about Kenny, without really knowing why.But when Stan starts noticing scars and marks that seems to appear and disappear on the other boy without any logical reason, he realizes he needs to open himself up in order to get to the bottom of Kenny’s secrets.





	1. Just Another Day in the Life of a Cursed Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> I can’t believe this is the first South Park piece I’ve posted here, having been active in the fandom for almost a year now!  
> Anyways, this is a gift piece I’m doing for @Ishipitsomuch on Tumblr, and the plot and idea totally belongs to them! Check out my Tumblr, Sparkles-and-Trash if you’re interested in my other writings!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this first chapter, and comments and kudos are always appreciated!

Kenny McCormick never woke up to an alarm on sunny days. 

Sure, he was aware that most other people would find waking up from the harsh sun in their face rather annoying, but to him it felt different. It was simply something that left him in a good mood. 

Maybe it was because the harsh rays held a promise of a rare sunny day in the normally so gray, cold and wast town of South Park, or maybe it was a reminder that even though something felt harsh and sudden at first, it could turn into something beautiful and warm if you gave it time. 

Or maybe he just hated the sound of his alarm and therefore preferred basically anything to it, and he had just been spending so much time alone with Stan that he was turning into a deep and poetic mess like his friend. 

It was probably the last one. 

The lanky teen sat up slowly, yawned so hard his jaw cracked, and looked out the window, which was always a possibility considering his family couldn't (or wouldn't) afford such luxuries as curtains for the middle kid's bedroom. 

Kenny sighed and shook his head, trying to wake himself up some more, making his mop of sandy blonde hair even messier than it already was, and nearly had an heart attack when the alarm on his phone, which he had forgot to turn off, suddenly set off. 

Okay, he shouldn't be joking about the heart attack thing, because he really didn't feel like dying today, no matter how tired he was. 

He finally rose out of bed, grabbed his trusted, old and ratty orange hoodie, gave it a quick whiff to make sure it was still good to go, and pulled it over his head, keeping the hood up to save time on not trying to fix his mess of blonde, borderline curly mess of hair. 

He let his eyes sweep over the floor, trying to locate a wearable pair of jeans, but didn't see any.

He groaned and rubbed his face, but then he caught sight of a small stack of three neatly folded, and freshly washed, jeans on the floor near his door. 

Karen. 

He breathed a sigh of relief and reminded himself to do something to thank her in the close future. 

That kid was worth her weight in gold, he swore on it. 

Finally dressed, Kenny dragged his still sleepy body to the bathroom, relived to see there was no line of siblings and/or parents waiting outside the door. 

He took a quick look in the mirror and childishly stuck his tongue out at his reflection, then grinned a bit to himself, showing off the pretty big gap between his front teeth. 

He knew his mother felt bad for that, having spent the money set aside for his braces on drugs back in the day, but honestly, Kenny didn't mind that too much. It was just teeth, and as long as they served their purpose, he was happy enough. 

He proceeded to brush said teeth, then making sure no drool from his sleep was still stuck on his freckly face. 

He was a super heavy sleeper who had a bad habit on drooling on both himself and his pillowcase, and while his appearance wasn't something he bothered that much with, he drew the line at walking around with drool on his face. 

When he deemed his face acceptable to meet the public, he left the bathroom to shuffle into the kitchen, being greeted by the smell of slightly burned waffles and the deep voice of his older brother, Kevin.

No parents in sight, and Kenny knew that probably meant their mother was asleep in her room, and he hoped it meant their dad was at an early shift at the garage he had started working at a while back. 

He knew better than to ask, though, as he wanted the morning conversation to be as pleasant as possible. 

“Mornin' Ken. Sleep well?” 

Kenny tried to swallow another yawn, but failed, so he just nodded in stead. 

Kevin huffed out a laugh and shook his head, while he grabbed a waffle out of the toaster and put it on a plate in front of Kenny, this one not burned at all, in comparison to the one Kevin himself was eating. 

“You know I don't mind the crispier ones, right?” Kenny asked, looking up at his older brother with raised eyebrows. 

“Crispy? Is that we call it know?” 

Both boys turned their heads as their younger sister, Karen, quickly darted into the kitchen and grabbed another waffle for herself. 

Kenny took in his siblings appearance for a second, and felt a familiar pang of affection for both of them. 

The two of them actually looked pretty similar, despite the age difference, with Kevin being 20, and Karen turning 14 this year.

They shared the same thick, straight, brown hair, Kevin's swopped messily to the side, and Karen's usually hanging straight down, curtaining around her face, they also had the same grey-blue eyes and slightly round faces. 

Basically, Kenny looked nothing alike them. Just another reminder that he was different from them, he supposed. 

The same, but different. 

“Ken? Hellooo, Earth to Kenny?” 

Kenny blinked and gave his head a quick shake as Karen's voice knocked him back to reality. 

“Yes, Karen, That's what we call them now,” he retorted and raised his eyebrows at her, before he added:

“Because we're very thankful of Kevins amazing cooking skills, remember?” 

Kevin rolled his eyes and Karen grinned, before taking a bite of her waffle. 

“Well, see you later, have a nice day guys.” Karen was already out of the kitchen door when Kenny yelled after her. 

“Hey, where are you going so early?” 

Karen stuck her head back in through the doorframe and her hair swayed slightly. 

“I'm meeting Trisha and Ike, we're gonna go through some homework before school,” she answered with a shrug and Kenny rolled his eyes. 

“And by that I guess you mean Ike letting you guys copy his homework, because he actually did them?” 

Karen grinned innocently and shrugged, before waving and darting out the door with a quick “bye!” over her shoulder. 

Kenny shook his head again, but Kevin gave him a knowing look. 

“Speaking from experience I guess?” he asked slyly, and brushed his hands off over the sink. 

“What?” Kenny asked, not following. 

Kevin grinned. 

“Coping homework from Broflovskis are kind of a tradition now, isn't it?” 

Kenny grinned and shrugged. 

“Well, Karen actually has a head on her shoulders, she just need to use it.”

He got up himself, put his plate in the sink and grabbed his old ratty shoulder-bag. 

“Me, on the other hand?” Kenny shrugged. 

“There was never any hope.” 

Kevins face suddenly got a serious as he looked at his younger brother.

“You know that's not true, right?” he asked, with a rare serious expression. 

Kenny shrugged. 

“Does it even matter? We both know we only have hope of sending one person from this family to college, and we both know it should be Karen,” he said and tried his best to smile like he didn't care about it at all. 

“Well, gotta get moving if I don't wanna be late,” he mumbled when Kevin didn't stop looking at him with that serious expression on his face. 

“Yeah, have a nice day...” 

Kevin's voice still sounded strange, but Kenny didn't let himself think about it too much. 

He knew his was right about the college discussion, and that was that. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Kenny hated Thursdays. 

At least, Kenny hated Thursdays in school. 

He was aware that Junior year was supposed to be though, but honestly, a day with double classes of geometry right before lunch was borderlining on human torture. 

It didn't help that the only two friends he had in this class was Token Black, who had an ridiculously easy time with all types of math, and Butters Stotch, who didn't seem to understand anything more than Kenny, was all but unbothered by this, and continued doodling away his answers with his pastel gel pens and smiling and thanking the teacher every time she told him he did something wrong. 

When the bell finally rang after what felt like at least three eternities, Kenny shoved his books and paper sheets right into his bag without even trying to keep it somewhat organized, and hurried towards the door without looking back, trusting that at least Butters was following him, as usual. 

As he came to a halt by his locker, he looked over his shoulder to see that he was right, because Butters was standing behind him, looking at his phone with a far off expression on his face. 

Kenny brutally stuffed as many books as possible into his locker, before he quickly slammed it shut before anything had a chance to fall out. 

He gently grabbed Butters arm and started steering him towards the cafeteria to find the rest of their friends. 

“What'cha watching, Butters?” Kenny asked his shorter friend, slightly fascinated by the way he managed to keep his eyes on the tiny screen at the same time as he didn't bump into anyone or anything. 

Butters tapped his screen to pause whatever it was he was watching, and locked his phone and put it in his pocket, before he smiled up at Kenny. 

“Oh, sorry Ken, I didn't mean to ignore you, I'm just really into this new game I found...” he explained with an apologetic smile and a shrug. 

Kenny quickly reassured his friend that he hadn't felt ignored, but didn't add on that Butters being engrossed with some show, youtube video or a game on his phone was pretty standard at this point. 

He knew too well that the boy felt guilty way too easily, and he really didn't have a problem with Butters' slight phone addiction. 

Kenny has an annoying habit of spacing out himself, without that reflecting anything on the people around him, so he kind of understood Butters. 

Kenny let out a sigh as the boys entered the big, noisy cafeteria, trying to spot their other friends, who all had classes closer to the cafeteria and therefore usually was there before himself and Butters. 

Butters found them first, lightly nudging Kenny and waving at their small group of friends as they started to make their way over to the table. 

The only person to wave back was Stan, mostly because he was the only one who sat facing them, and Kenny rolled his eyes slightly as he saw that Cartman and Kyle, who both sat with their back to them, were clearly in some sort of heated discussion, based on the way Cartman was waving his hands and the way Kyle shaking his head angrily. 

Great. 

“Hey Fellas!” Butters said loudly and happily, blissfully ignoring Kyle and Cartman's obvious glares at each other. 

People who didn't know him might think that Butters was simply gullible, and even kind of stupid, but Kenny knew him well enough to know that the constant positive attitude and kindness was a choice, and that he could stand his ground when needed. 

Kenny really respected that about him. 

Stan smiled genuinely up at Butters and greeted them, and Kenny felt a wave of appreciation for his friend, and sat down next to the dark haired boy and simply looked over at Cartman and Kyle, then back at Stan, and raised his eyebrows in question. 

“Dude, I don't even know,” Stan said and rolled his eyes, and Kenny did the same, before he dug around in his bag, trying to locate his lunch.

When he finally succeeded in locating his lunch and sat back up, Butters and Stan was chatting about some recent drama happening with a couple in their year, but Kenny had long ago decided to stay out of any type of relationship related drama, so he just kind of tuned out. 

The conversations and bickering happening around him made Kenny think about his own lack of involvement in the life of most of his peers, which was pretty much a choice he made back in Freshman year. 

He had his close friends, which basically included the people he currently sat with, and he felt like he got a long well with Tweek, Craig, Token, Clyde and Jimmy, as well as Wendy and Bebe, but besides that, he rarely socialized with the other students and people his age unless he had to for school or something like that. 

He liked other people, he really did, but his life was chaotic and uncertain enough as it was, with his parents being in and out of jobs and still both struggling heavily trying to beat addiction, him wanting to see his sister get into college, trying to do well at his job over at Tweak Bro's, making sure his friends didn't kill each other, never mind that he didn't have any idea what his own future held, on top of that he tried not to die every other day, and he didn't really see any way to fit any type of relationship or the likes into that mix. 

If that were to ever happen realistically, it had to be with someone he already knew and trusted, he guessed, or someone he could learn to trust easily, which wasn't really an easy thing for him to do. 

No, finding someone he could have fun with, trust with all the darker and more serious part of his life, and you know, actually have him... ehrm, or her, you know, who ever, love him back? 

It all sounded too far fetched for him to even consider at this point. 

Kenny was suddenly brought back out of his train of thoughts by a gentle nudging on his shoulder, and he blinked rapidly and turned his head to stare right into stormy blue eyes smiling warmly, if not a tad worriedly, at him. 

“Uhm, sorry, what?” Kenny heard himself stammer out, taken aback by the way Stan tilted his head slightly and smiled a little softer at him. 

“I said, are you finished?” Stan asked carefully, looking between Kenny and his now empty lunch bag. 

“Class is starting in five, and we have history together now.” 

Kenny hurriedly cleared his throat and nodded, going back to his default lopsided grin. 

“Yeah, I know dude!” he said as he got up and slung his bag over his shoulder and pulled his hood back up over his hair. 

“I was just... you know. Thinking. About school and stuff.” 

Stan didn't really look like he believed that, but he shrugged a little as they started walking towards class. 

“I guess,” he sighed, and grinned childishly. 

“I generally try not to think much about school, but you do you, Ken.” 

Kenny rolled his eyes and laughed, before they fell into a comfortable silence, shuffling off to class together. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“Get off my chair Kahl, I'm fucking telling you!” 

“No deal, fatso, I got here first, you can sit your fat ass over at the couch for once!” 

“This is MY BASEMENT Kahl, and MY CHAIR!” 

Kyle opened his mouth to yell something back, but Stan sent him a knowing look. 

“Dude, just let him have the fucking chair,” Stan started, before raising his hands defensively as Kyle was about to argue. 

“No, seriously,” Stan continued, looking uncharacteristically strict and serious. “You know he's not gonna give up, and I really just want to play some Smash Bro's and chill, please?” 

Kyle clearly didn't agree, but after a few more seconds of glaring between Stan and Cartman he got up and moved over to the couch where Stan already was sitting, grumbling about how Cartman's fat ass would probably tip the couch over, anyways. 

Off all the ways to spend his one afternoon off work, this was not what Kenny had imagined. 

Based on how these nights usually went, it probably should have been exactly what he imagined, but he was coming to realize that he was an eternal, hopeless optimist when it came to his friends. 

He should really know better, but what the hell. 

One day maybe Cartman and Kyle would manage to spend an hour together without yelling at each other. 

That day was certainly not today, and probably not in the foreseeable future, but there was always hoping. 

Kyle and Cartman had each grabbed a controller without asking Stan or Kenny if they wanted to start, but Kenny figured that was probably for the best, them beating each other in Smash Bro's were a better option than them beating each other up in real life. 

Kenny, who was currently seated on the floor in front of Stan's legs, leaned his head on Stan's denim clad knee and yawned, feeling the familiar drowsiness of lazy afternoons overtake him. 

He found himself wishing it was just him and Stan there, because he had a feeling Stan might would have taken to playing with his hair or something like that if they were alone, but with both Kyle and Cartman there he knew that wasn't really a plausible option. 

Stan always got so bothered and blushy (and cute) when Cartman made comments about him and Kenny being gay for each other, and therefore usually didn't engage in much physical contact when they were around.

Which was a shame. 

Kenny heaved a sigh as he watched Cartman as Bowser basically slaughtering Kyle's Link, which just seemed to fire them both up more and more. 

When Kyle demanded rematch, Kenny gave up on ever getting to play, at least for that night, and climbed up on the couch between Kyle and Stan, before he slung his lanky legs over Kyle's lap, and placed his head in Stan's lap. 

Kyle, being used to Kenny taking this position, just calmly lifted his hans holding the controller so Kenny could make himself comfortable, not taking his eyes off the screen, where he was doing a slightly better job keeping Cartman in check. 

Kenny figured there was probably some kind of metaphor in there somewhere, about Kyle and Cartman's natural talent for fighting each other no matter what was happening around them, but he really wasn't in a mood to figure it out.

Instead, he made himself comfortable in Stan's lap, sneaking small glances up at his friend's face through the strands of his bangs that were partly covering his face as he was laying down. 

Stan's face had taken a slightly pink tone, as it always did when Kenny got a little physical with him, and his eyes were fixated at the screen, while he occasionally grinned or even laughed when one of their friends got their asses beat in the game. 

Cute. 

Kenny almost shook his head as a tic when the thought flew through his head. 

He really needed to get those thoughts under control, or else he might say something out loud again, and had a feeling Cartman wasn't gonna let too many more of those slip ups fly by without making a big fuss about it, and Kenny was not even remotely ready to deal with the consequences of that. 

Kenny sighed softly, and closed his eyes instead, tuning out the sound of his friends' bantering, feeling himself slowly slip out of consciousness, letting sleep overtake his mind. 

Just for five minutes, he told himself as he fell asleep. 

… 

Kenny woke to the feeling of someone poking his cheek repeatedly, harder and harder each time. 

“Ugh, dude, no...” he mumbled and tried to push the hand away without opening his eyes. 

“Kinny, I'm not having you gaying it up in my fucking basement any longer, wake up!” 

The familiar, annoying as hell, voice only made the blonde groan harder, as he tried to turn away and put his arm protectively over his face. 

“Dude, stop being such a pain in the ass,” Stan said tiredly, and Kenny smiled to himself. 

Such a sweetheart. Kind of. 

Cartman huffed.

“Pain in the ass, huh? I bet you know all about that, huh Stan?” 

Kenny opened one eye and peeked between Stans reddening face and Cartman's smug one. 

Kyle wasn't anywhere to be seen, which meant he either left after fighting with Cartman, or was simply in the bathroom. 

Great. 

“Why do you assume Stan would bottom, Eric?” Kenny asked with a innocent grin.

“Think a lot about these things, do you?” he added and enjoyed the way Cartman's face went from smug and self assured, to red and spluttering. 

“What does Fatass think about a lot?” Kyle, who just emerged from the bathroom, asked with raised eyebrows. 

“Didn't think he could even do that,” he added.

“Think a lot about something, you know?” 

Kenny laughed, and to his relief, Stan's face had gone from deep red, to a cute pink tint, and he was laughing too. 

“Shut the fuck up Kahl, I'm smart and I think about stuff all the time and you fucking know it!” 

Cartman's voice had gone up a pitch which meant he was getting angrier, and Kenny couldn't help to feel encouraged by this. 

Cartman was the one who started, after all. 

“So,” Kenny started, and all eyes where on him again, “you do think a lot about who tops and who bottoms then, is that what you're saying?” 

Cartman went back to spluttering angrily for a while, before he furiously told them all that they could all go fuck themselves, and screw them, they were going home! 

The three boys each got up and collected their things in a rather calm manner, as they were pretty used to being thrown out of their friends' house like this by now. 

They calmly shuffled up the stairs, making sure to say their thanks and good-byes to Liane, who was watching TV in the living room, and then came to a halt when they were at the sidewalk outside Cartman's house. 

Kyle blew on his hands and shivered a bit. 

“Want me to borrow dad's car and drive you home, Ken?” he asked as he rubbed his hands together. 

Kenny appreciated the gesture, but shook his head. 

“Nah dude, it's okay, I don't mind walking.” 

He made sure to smile reassuringly to both his friends as he said it and Kyle seemed pleased with that answer. 

Stan, on the other hand, looked more uncertain. 

“You sure?” He asked and raised his arm to scratch the back of his neck, which he always did when he was insecure or nervous. 

“Yep!” Kenny said and flashed him a grin, before starting to back away slowly. 

“Totally sure!” he said, as he raised his hand as a final wave and pulled his hood a little further down his face. 

“See you tomorrow!” Kyle half-yelled over his shoulder, and Stan nodded slowly, still looking some-what nervous. 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow Ken...” he said and gave him a small smile that made Kenny feel a flutter in his chest, and he gave Stan a final wave, before he turned around and started on the fifteen minute walk home. 

He realized it was pretty cold, considering how his breath clouded around him, but as the years went by, he didn't really feel temperatures the same way anymore. 

Probably another side-effect of dying and resurrecting all the time, it was bound to mess up some physical things after all these years, especially since no scars or marks ever stayed on his body when he came back. 

Kenny sighed, and stuck his hands further down his pockets. 

After a few minutes he walked past his place of employment and peeked inside, seeing the warm lights and low number of customers almost made him go inside to chat, but then he saw Craig sitting on one of the stools by the counter, talking to his blonde, twitchy boyfriend with uncharacteristically soft eyes and a small smile, and decided against it. 

Tweek often told Kenny about how hard it was getting time alone with Craig between working and school and their parents, so he decided to let them be. 

Kenny continued walking past Tweak Bro's and smiled to himself. 

The place was technically a Harbucks now, but the Tweaks were still operating it, just with stricter rules for what to not put in their brews, and not working their son to actual death. 

Kenny had applied for a part time job there just as Harbucks bought the place, heavily encouraged by Tweek, and had now worked there a little over a year, gaining both a little extra money for him and his family, and a closer friendship with Tweek himself, both of which he was very grateful for. 

After a few more minutes of walking, Kenny could finally spot his family's house in the distance, the small, run down house seeming uncharacteristically warm and welcoming in the dark night. 

Yes, he thought, his family was still far from perfect, but at least his parents had started trying to sober up, and their dad had even held down a job at a garage in town for almost a year now, which was easily a new record, and his siblings were both wonderful in their own ways. 

Just as a feeling of familiarity and warmth was spreading through his chest, he heard the a strange, creaking sound above him, and he came to a halt. 

He barley lifted his head to see the old telephone pole next to his house tilting, finally giving out from the rot that filled it, and falling towards him at a rapid speed. 

He knew what was coming, and he felt a huge surge of annoyance, as he had really looked forward to going to bed tonight, getting a full nights sleep. 

“Fucking shit.” he muttered, just as the old, tall and heavy pole fell right on top of his lanky body, crushing him like a bug.


	2. A Long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan struggles to sleep, finding that he can’t stop thinking about a certain blonde, and Kenny finds himself in an all too familiar place with a couple of old friends.

Stan's POV 

“See you tomorrow!” Stan heard Kyle's good-bye to Kenny as if it was far away, and had to shake his head to bring his mind back to the present. 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow Ken...” Stan heard himself say, before he gave Kenny a small smile, which Kenny returned. 

The genuine, gap-toothed smile from the freckled faced boy made Stans insides flutter, and he quickly averted his gaze so his friends wouldn't notice the sudden blush that had crept over his face during the boys' short exchange. 

As Kenny continued on his way home, Stan realized that Kyle had already started walking the other way, so he hurried after him, hoping that Kyle hadn't noticed how he had stood gazing after their third friend. 

“You gotta relax, dude,” Kyle said as he sent Stan a knowing look.

“Kenny can take care of himself, you know that.” 

Stan just shrugged, as he stuck his hands deep in the pockets on his warm jacket. 

“I know that,” Stan mumbled, feeling a bit silly, getting called out like that. 

“But... it's cold, and quite the walk, and it just sucks that he always has to go all that way alone.” 

Kyle merely responded with a nod and a “mhm”, and Stan hoped that meant he was gonna leave it at that. 

It seemed that Stan got that last wish, because before he knew it, the two boys were parting ways with a “see ya” and small waves, and Stan hurried towards the warmth of his house, silently hoping that his parents had gone to bed already. 

For once, it seemed like Stan had luck on his side. 

The house was quiet and tranquil, the living room TV off, which was rare, and when Stan entered the kitchen to get something to drink, he found a small note from his mother saying there was dinner in the fridge for him to warm up, but as he had already ate, Stan just got himself a glass of water and went on up to his room. 

Stan didn't bother turning on the lights as he entered his bedroom, quietly to not wake up his parents, he just shut the door behind him, used his phone as a flashlight, and with a little luck, he found his way to his bed without tripping or spilling any of the water. 

His room was pretty easy to navigate, as he kept it pretty tidy, he didn't really spend that much time in there anyways. 

There were just some movie posters, his closet, a small TV he almost never used, and his bed with a small nightstand next to it.

Stan stifled a yawn as he set down his water and got out of his clothes, leaving him in only his t-shirt and boxers, and then he crawled under the covers of his bed. 

He was tired, yes, but he knew better than to hope to fall asleep anytime soon. Insomnia had been an issue for him since he started middle school, and while he was slowly getting better, some nights were still spent staring helplessly at the ceiling, waiting for the sleep that never came. 

Stan had a feeling this was gonna be one of those nights. 

He turned to his nightstand to grab his phone, and shot Kenny a quick text, asking if he got home alright, hoping Kenny would strike up a conversation, which he usually did when Stan had one of these sleepless nights. 

It was like the blonde had a sixth sense when it came to Stan and his need to talk, and Stan was beyond grateful for all the nights Kenny had stayed up to distract him from, or talk him trough, the dark and scary thoughts that seemed to sneak up at him at night. 

Kenny didn't answer tonight though, and it made Stan a little nervous. 

He tried to tell himself that Kenny had simply gotten home quickly, and fallen asleep right away, but there was a little voice in his head that reminded him that it usually took Kenny a while to walk home, and that he wasn't one to go to bed right away, but Stan tried to shut it out. 

Of course Kenny was fine. 

Like Kyle said, Kenny knew how to take care of himself, which he had proved time and time again over the last few years. 

Stan sighed heavily before he put his phone back on his nightstand, and tossed and turned for a while, trying, and failing, to get more comfortable. 

He finally gave up, and curled himself into a ball while facing out towards his room. 

He felt his eyes drift towards his window, his mind still on his blonde, freckly friend, and he was reminded of another night, many years ago, where he was lying in this same bed, looking at that same window with a feeling of helplessness and fear overtaking him. 

f – l – a – s – h – b – a – c – k

The late August night was humid and warm, which was highly unusual for South Park, even at this time of year. 

Stan already had trouble sleeping, nervous jitters rummaging trough his body, just the thought of what would occur the next day enough to make him feel nauseous, so adding the horrible humid air on top of that didn't really do anything to calm the young boys mind or body. 

Stan sighed heavily, and reached for his phone, which was laying on the small nightstand next to him. 

No new messages. 

Great, that meant everyone else was sleeping, like normal people, and here he was, with nobody to talk to, and just the rustle of some kind of animal outside his window to keep him company. 

Pretty soon Stan realized, however, that the rustling was suddenly a bit too loud, and a bit too close to his second story window, for it to be just a cat or raccoon strolling by. 

Whatever this was, it was currently trying to make it's way into his room. 

Just as Stan was about to have a full on heart attack (or so it felt), the thing outside his window managed to pry it open, and in one, swift, and amazingly inelegant movement, tumbled inside Stans bedroom, rolling onto his carpeted floor, and then it, no not an it, an he, looked up at Stan, who was sitting on the bed, gaping like a fish on land. 

“Dude...” Stan's voice was all groggy from the mix of shock and fear, and the boy on the floor sat up and grinned like an idiot. 

“Ta-dah!” 

Kenny threw his arms out to the side and did a little bow, before he clumsily got up and brushed off his worn out, blue pajama bottoms and removed the hood that had previously been covering up most of his face and hair. 

“Dude, you just scared the shit out of me!” Stan spluttered to the blonde boy, still standing on the middle of his floor. 

“What the hell are you doing here at-,” 

Stan paused to check the time on his phone, but was cut of by Kenny.

“No, wait, let me guess!” Kenny said, as he shuffled over to the bed and sat down on the edge. 

Stan just blinked at him and shook his head. 

“Dude, it's 2.30 am, not the time to play guessing games,” the black haired male deadpanned, but couldn't stop a small smile breaking through. 

Kenny pouted and shot Stan a fake sad look, but then he shrugged it off, and his face grew more serious. Stan scooted himself further up in his bed, so he was sat with his back against the headboard with his legs stretched out in front of him, and gestured for Kenny to do the same. 

After Kenny placed himself next to him, Stan looked over at his friend, trying to read his face and figure out why he had rolled into Stans room in the middle of the night. It wasn't the first time this had happened, but is was the first time in almost a year. 

Usually when this happened, it was because Kennys parents were fighting or was too drunk and/or drugged to be safe to be around, but those times Kenny usually brought Karen as well, and since she wasn't here right now, Stan was honestly not sure what to make of anything. 

After a while, however, Stan found it best to just ask. 

“Is something going on at home again?” Stan asked carefully, keeping his eyes focused on Kenny's face. 

To his surprise, however, Kenny's eyes widened a tad, before he quickly shook his head. 

“Oh, no dude, it's fine!” he said with an earnest expression, and flashed him a genuine grin, showing off his gap-toothed smile. 

Stan felt a familiar, and slightly unwelcome, flutter in his chest at the smile, and averted his eyes before Kenny could notice anything. 

Stan cleared his throat carefully. 

“Well, why are you here then?” he asked, trying his best not to sound too rude, but he was starting to slightly loose his patience, due to the heat, how tired he was, and the fact that he was already on edge because of what was happening tomorrow. 

Kenny looked down at his hands for a while, before he raised his head to meet Stans glance. 

“You texted me about an hour ago, dude,” Kenny said in a quiet voice. 

Stan just shrugged. 

He was kind of famous among his friends for sending ranting messages late at night when he couldn't sleep, and usually Kenny was the only one who really texted him back, as Kyle was always asleep early, and Cartman was a little shit. 

“Well, you sounded... more upset than usual, that's all.” Kenny muttered, and glanced away again, giving a small shrug. 

Stan felt a small pang of guilt.

“So... you came over here at 2 am because you thought I seemed upset?” 

Kenny kept his head down, but looked up at Stan through his long, sandy blonde bangs and thick lashes, making Stans face feel terribly hot, him suddenly feeling very aware of how close they were sitting. 

On his bed, of all places. 

“Well, yeah dude,” Kenny started, biting down on his lip carefully, “and since we're starting High School tomorrow, I figured maybe you didn't wanna spend the whole night lying around alone, staring up in into the ceiling, thinking of every single thing that can go wrong tomorrow.” 

“Ken...” Stan started, but Kenny cut him off by raising his hand towards him.

“And!,” he said, giving Stan a stern look, “and, I can't really do anything about the fact that High School starts tomorrow, but I can do something about the whole you being alone and sad thing.” 

When he finished, he looked down at his hands again. 

“Or, the alone part, at least,” he added softly, leaning back on the headboard, staring into the space in front of them. 

By this point Stan has completely forgotten to be embarrassed or awkward about how they're sitting, the time, or anything else, because all he can feel is massive gratitude for the boy sitting next to him. 

However, being a fifteen year old boy with very limited emotional intelligence, Stan just looked at his friend with what he imagined looked like those heart eyes girls in anime got when they saw someone they liked. 

After a while though, Kenny cleared his throat and lightly nudged Stans shoulder. 

“So...” Kenny said airily. 

When Stan didn't answer, he continued.

“Do want me to stay, or..?” 

That made Stan break out of his trance-like state, and he blinked rapidly for a second. 

“Yeah! Uhm, yeah, I, th-that would be... cool. I guess.” 

Stan could have punched himself, if it wasn't for the fact that would only make him look ever duber than he already was. 

Kenny just smiled, though. 

One of those quiet, cheshire cat like smiles he always did when he seemed to know more than he was letting on. Normally, this would freak Stan out, but tonight, it just made him smile. 

“Cool.” 

e – n – d o – f f – l – a – s – h – b – a – c – k

Back in the present, Stan was still lying in his bed, facing the window, with a small, warm smile on his face. 

That was the first night Kenny had snuck into his room to keep him company when he couldn't sleep, but not the last. 

Since then, they've had this down to an fine art. 

Stan would send Kenny a text, or snapchat, where he mentioned not being able to go to sleep, because his head was either too loud or too quiet. And usually, Kenny would either reply and stay up talking him through the night, or, more often than not, he would just show up, climb up the tree outside Stans window, and shimmy inside, much more quiet and elegant than that first time, and Stan would lift up the covers, and Kenny would lie down next to him, and then he wasn't alone, and sometimes, he actually fell asleep. 

The nights he didn't fall sleep, they would still usually just lie there, and Kenny usually fell asleep pretty fast, at least in Stans bed, always being tired from work and school, but he always managed to either play with Stans hair for a while, or just put his hand over Stans, and that was really all that Stan ever needed. 

Having his friend, peacefully asleep next to him, reminded him of the peace and quiet that could still be found, and that no matter how lonely he felt, he wasn't really alone. 

The next morning, they would simply get up, get ready for school, and tell Sharon and Randy that Kenny had just stayed late while gaming last night, and didn't feel like walking all the way to the other side of town. Stans parents never had anything to say about it, as they both liked Kenny and was used to him showing up in the mornings after a while.

Stan and Kenny never really talked about it, it was like an silent agreement, and that worked for both of them, at least for now. 

Stan stayed on his side for a while, still watching the window, looking for any sign of movement, but after a while, he gave up. 

He sighed, checked his phone again, still nothing, and once again put it down on his nightstand. 

Stan tried to tell himself that Kenny was home, in his own bed, sleeping peacefully, safe and sound, but there was still a feeling somewhere inside him, a slow, uncomfortable knowing that something was off, but before he could dwell too much on it, by some kind of miracle, he drifted off into a dreamless sleep. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
Kenny's POV 

When Kenny opened his eyes, he first thought he was at home, in his bed. 

There was some sort of light, almost fucking blinding him, and he slowly sat up, trying to figure out if the sun was already rising, shining through his window and waking him up. 

As soon as his eyes got used to the brightness though, he realized he was wrong. 

“Oh, fuck, not this again,” he mumbled grumpily, as he looked around running a hand through his hair. 

The fires that was blazing all around him should probably have freaked him out more than it did. The Bible might get lot of shit wrong, but all those stories about “eternal fires” wasn't one of those things. 

Hell wasn't the most comfortable place Kenny McCormick had set his feet on, but it sure wasn't the worst either. 

Sure, the deeper pits and parts of this place was supposed to be worse, a whole lot worse from what he had heard, but Kenny wasn't ever planning on finding that out. That was where they kept the real bad ones, the rumors said, and Kenny had once made the mistake on trying to get a glimpse of it, when he was a lot younger, and the feeling he had gotten looking into that seemingly endless darkness still haunted him sometimes. 

No, the fiery parts of Hell was severely underrated, if you asked him. 

With his mind a bit more cleared up, the lanky blond got on his feet, brushed off his hoodie, and started taking in his surroundings to figure out just where he had spawned this time. 

Luckily, he quickly realized this was a part of Hell he was familiar with, and he hadn't been walking long before he heard a familiar, friendly voice with a British accent calling out for him. 

“Oi! Kenny, over here!” 

Kenny whipped around towards the voice, and smiled to himself when he saw the odd pair sitting in a secluded little nook. 

Pip, the boy who had called him over, a pretty little thing with shoulder length blonde hair, big, blue eyes and a sweet smile, was waving at him, and Kenny slowly made his way over.

“Not even gonna say hello, huh Damien?” Kenny casually asked the third boy, as he sat down next to Pip. 

The third boy, Damien, looked up at Kenny and gave him a un-amused look. 

“Hello, Kenneth,” he said shortly, before turning his attention back to the deck of cards he was currently shuffling. 

To someone who didn't know him, Damien probably looked pretty scary. 

He had jet black hair, even darker than Stan's, with long bangs that was always hanging down in his face. His eyes were a deep, dark red, like the color of coagulated blood, Kenny had always thought, and his skin was pale and flawless, his face had sharp features, from his high cheekbones to his strong jaw. 

If he wasn't such a grump, he could probably have been real attractive, Kenny figured. 

“Don't mind him, Kenny dear!” Pip smiled, totally un-affected by Damiens tone and dark stare. 

Kenny flashed the small, British blonde one of his big, gap-toothed grins, and shot him a wink.

“I never do, darling.” 

The playful conversation between the two blonds came to an abrupt halt when Damien slammed the deck of cards into the small block of stone that was acting like a table. 

“So, McCormick, are you joining us, or what?” he asked as he raised his eyebrows. 

Kenny made a non-committal sound. 

“I just woke up here, dude,” he said and shrugged, “which means I just died, which means I'm not really too keen on using my brain.” 

Pip shot him a sympathetic look and Damien rolled his eyes. 

“Didn't know you had a brain to use in the first place,” Damien said cooly, but started splitting the cards between himself and Pip. 

The pair didn't mention anything about what they were playing, and Kenny had never been any good with classic card games, so he just quietly watches the two boys instead. 

“So, what was it this time?” 

Damien's voice cut trough the silence after a few minutes, ripping Kenny out of his deep thoughts. 

“What was what this time?” he asks, not even sure it was really him Damien was talking to. 

“What took you out, obviously,” Damien says and rolls his eyes, again. 

“Damien!” 

The sharpness in Pip's otherwise so gentle voice took both the other boys by surprise, and they both stared at him with wide eyes for a second, before they snapped out of it. 

“What?” Damien grumbled, averting his eyes. 

Pip narrowed his eyes, and Kenny had to suppress a smile. The boy looked like the rabbit from Bambi trying to be scary when he was angry. 

“That's simply not something to joke on about, Damien,” he said seriously, before looking over at Kenny with a sympathetic look. 

Damien didn't answer, but he did look away, like he wasn't sure how to answer.

Kenny immediately felt his curiosity being triggered, because for as long as he had come here and hung around Damien, he had never once seen him care what anybody told him. 

He didn't push further though, not wanting to put Pip in an awkward position. He could always dig around later. 

Instead, he decided to humor Damien by answering his question. 

“Big, rotten telephone pole smashed me like a fucking ant.” 

Pip cringed slightly, and Damien looked back up. 

“What, it just fell on you, out of nowhere?” Damien asked with raised eyebrows. 

Kenny shrugged. 

“Is that really the weirdest thing about all this to you?” Kenny asked back, making a little waving gesture at the scene in front of them. 

Three teenaged boys, or rather, two boys and a demon, casually sitting around in hell, playing cards and chatting, really shouldn't be as casual as it was for them. 

Damien shrugged, and Kenny could have sworn he saw a small smile flicker across his face.

“Right.” 

They all fall quiet again, and Pip and Damien continued playing whatever it is that they were playing, while Kenny watched in silence. 

He had never really given it that much thought, but as he sat here, watching them, he realized just how much time Pip and Damien had probably spent together. Kenny didn't even die that much these days, he was usually better at avoiding it by now, and as far as he knew, the pair didn't really socialize with anyone else down here. 

While Pip was generally a sweet and chatty guy, he didn't seem to mind hanging out with Damien all the time. 

Damien, on the other hand, generally didn't seem to like anyone, if anything he merely put up with Kenny, and he honestly suspected that was mainly because Pip told him to. 

The two of them together, however, really made Kenny think. It was interesting, that they seemed to be friends, or... maybe even more? Weird that the thought had never really occurred to Kenny until this moment, the thought about these two boys, so different, but clearly still important to each other. 

Kenny couldn't even remember the last time he woke up here and didn't find the two of them together, doing something mundane and seemingly normal, all things considered. 

Love really was an amazing and strange thing, that was for sure. 

Kenny was once again brought out of his thoughts when Pip gently nudged his shoulder.

“Oi, Kenny, you still with us?” he asked cheerfully. 

Kenny shook his head, as if to rid himself of the thoughts that was currently clouding his mind.

“What are you thinking about there, dear?” Pip asked with a slight tilt of his head. 

“Love,” Kenny said simply, and grinned as both boys whipped their heads up to look at him. 

Pips eyes was wide and his cheeks rather pink, while Damiens eyes were basically blazing. 

“Oh!” Pip squeaked, looking bewildered. 

“Uhm, why?” he added softly, looking nervously between Kenny and Damien. 

Kenny shrugged and leaned back, leisurely.

“Can't a guy just sit in Hell and think about the great mysteries of life?” he asked and chuckled when he saw Damien scrunch his face up like it was the craziest thing he had ever heard. 

“Not, really, no.” 

Damiens voice dripped of sarcasm, but his face gave him away, and it was pretty clear that he was at least a bit curious. 

“Why, um,” Pip tried again, having gotten himself a little collected, “why were you thinking about such a.. big, big topic, right now?” 

Kenny shrugged again. 

“Death makes a guy think, I guess.” 

Pip suddenly lit up with excitement. 

“Oh really?” he asked, eyes shining mischievously. 

“Any specific person you were thinking of or...?” 

Kenny bit his lip, trying not to smile, but then he saw Damiens dark look, and decided that it was better to air his own personal feelings than being honest and bring up the nature of Pip and Damien relationship with both of them present. 

“To be honest with ya, Phillip, there is, in fact, a specific person,” Kenny said, puffing out a long breath of air. 

Pip leaned in even closer.

“Who?” he asked, quietly, as if he thought that any loud or startling noise would scare Kenny away from telling him his secret. 

Kenny smiled lopsidedly. 

“You'll have to guess,” he said in the same, low tone of voice. 

Damien sat still in the background, pretending not to listen, but clearly still paying attention to the conversation. 

Pip bit his lip excitedly, and started thinking. 

“Is it anyone I know, er, knew?” he asked, referring to the time he was actually alive, and lived in South Park.

Kenny nodded. 

“You knew, them, yes,” he said, grinning at Pips serious expression. 

“Boy or girl?” he asked blinking rapidly. 

Kenny shrugged. 

“What do you think?” he shot back, not able to hold back a laugh when Pip pouts. 

“Oh, come on!” Pip begged, “give me something to work with!” 

Kenny raised his hands in a surrendering gesture. 

“Okay, okay,” he started, smiling at the other boy. 

“He's part of my friend group, okay? He always was, and still is.” 

Pip gasped dramatically, and even Damien had stopped the whole careless act by now. 

“My lord, one of the lads, ey?” 

Pip always got extra British when he was shocked or surprised, and it never failed to amuse Kenny. 

“One of the lads.” Kenny confirms, nodding his head. 

“Is is Kyle? Or Stan? Does Butters count? It can't be Cartman, right, it just, it simply cannot!” 

Pip turns back to Damien as he says the last part, looking for some support and Damien makes a grossed out face at the mention of Cartman. 

I was funny how even the literal spawn of Satan couldn't stand Eric Cartman. 

“Nah, it's defiantly not Cart...” 

Kenny halted in the middle of the sentence, a strange but familiar sensation taking over his mind. 

It felt like someone had placed a heavy blanket around his shoulders, and was slowly wrapping him up in it. His vision started going dark around the edges, and he saw the disappointment in Pips face as he realized what was happening. 

“Well, that was a short visit.” 

He heard Damiens voice as if it was far, far away. 

Kenny was just about to try and say some form of goodbye, but just as he opened his mouth the last piece of vision turned black, and he could no longer see, hear or feel anything around him. 

He was going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comment means the world to me! 
> 
> Check out my Tumblr @ sparkles-and-trash for more South Park content!


	3. Spilled sodas and spilled hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny wakes back up in his bed after his night spent I Hell, and Stan is seeing things he's not so sure he should tell anyone about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that this is a gift I'm doing for @Ishipitsomuch on Tumblr! 
> 
> It's such a blast to work with her, and I'm insanely grateful she choose me to put this idea to life!

Kenny's POV

When he woke up to his alarm blaring from his phone, Kenny felt as if his head had been put through a coffee grinder. 

He groaned loudly, trying to locate his phone without opening his eyes, but realized slowly that the phone wasn't next to his bed, like it was supposed to be, but in the pocket of his jeans, which again had him realized he was sleeping in his jeans. 

Oh.

He had died again, then. 

When he finally managed to shut his phone up, the lanky blond sat up in his bed and tried to orient himself a bit. 

He checked the calendar on his phone to see what day it was, and groaned again when he saw it was Friday. 

He was pretty sure he had died on Thursday night, but he had held on to a small hope that it had been after midnight, which would have given him a extra day before he re-spawned, but no such luck. 

Kenny rubbed his temples as the conversations he had with Damien and Pip in Hell during his brief stay started coming back to him. Had he really almost told them about his feelings for Stan? 

Fuck. 

Not that any of them could ever tell anyone in Kenny's day to day life, but still. 

He could barley admit it to himself most days, and it felt... strange, to almost have said it out loud to people he considered friends. 

Strange, but not necessarily bad, he came to realize. 

As he slowly started to feel like his brain was falling back into place, Kenny realized he has several unread messages from Stan, and he felt the familiar flutter in his chest, and suddenly felt way more awake and alive than he had just a moment ago. 

He quickly read through the texts, and he realized with a sinking feeling that Stan had gone through one of his tough nights last night, and that Kenny had missed out on an opportunity to be there for him. 

Of course Kenny hated that Stan struggled with his insomnia, but what he didn't hate was how he usually turned to Kenny for comfort in those times. 

During those quiet nights spent in Stans bed, side by side, their hands occasionally intertwined, it felt like it was just the two of them in the entire universe, and Kenny usually never felt that safe and tranquil any other place, with any other person. 

The fact that Kenny has missed out on a night like that, and on top of that left Stan alone, made him feel like shit. 

He spent a few minutes crafting a somewhat believable text back to Stan, saying that he has crashed as soon as he got home last night, and that he hoped Stan had gotten some sleep after all. 

When that was done, Kenny quickly went through his morning routine, but a throbbing headache was slowing him down, so he ended up taking an Aspirin and hoping for the best. 

He didn't always feel any pain from his death the day after, but when he did, it usually manifested itself into a headache. 

Kenny was a bit taken aback by the fact that it was his mother, not Kevin as he expected, that was making breakfast when he entered the kitchen.

Perhaps even more surprising, she was making pancakes, not the usual frozen waffles the McCormick kids were basically raised on. 

Kenny slowly sat down at the table, trying to get eye contact with Karen, who was also sitting down for breakfast for once, but his sister was busy updating their mother on some art project she was doing with Ike. 

When his mother finally realized Kenny had entered the kitchen, she shot him a tired, but genuine smile. 

“Mornin' Kenny,” she said with a nod, and turned back to flip a pancake. 

“Yes, how utterly nice of you to finally join us, Kenneth.” 

Kenny rolled his eyes at his sister, and checked the time quickly. 

“I'm on time, come on!” he said and stifled a yawn. 

“Where's Kevin, though?” he asked, and thanked his mom as she plopped a pancake onto his plate. 

Karen, who was already eating her pancake, tried to answer, but it came out completely impossible to understand, considering how full her mouth were. 

Kenny raised his eyebrows at her, before turning back to their mom.

“For goodness sake, Karen, eat, then talk!” she said and shook her head, but she couldn't quite hide the tiny smile on her face, before she turned back to Kenny.

“He and your father left early, they're both working early at the garage today, so I figured I could, ya know...” she drifted off, and gestured towards the stove with a sheepish look on her face. 

Kenny didn't have time to respond, before Karen went into a long speech on how amazing the pancakes were, and Kenny felt a flicker of hope in his chest. 

Their mom might not have been there much for him and Kevin when they grew up, but seeing how she was currently trying, and seemingly succeeding so far, and seeing how much it clearly meant to Karen, it really filled him with more hope than he had felt in a long time. 

Kenny was dragged back to reality when his phone suddenly beeped, and he checked it to find that he had a new text from Stan, which made him smile a bit to himself. 

“Who was that?”

Kenny looked up, and felt a small blush creep over his face as he realized both his mom and Karen were looking at him with knowing looks on their faces. It was almost uncanny, because they looked strikingly similar, especially after their mom had stopped dyeing her hair red, and was back to the same brown color as Karen and Kevin had. 

“Hello, Kenny? Who made you all gooey and smiley?” Karen raised her voice slightly, and waved her hand in front of his face. 

Kenny huffed and pushed her hand away, rolling his eyes. 

“I'm not gooey, I'm tired, that's all,” he said quickly, and as he actually read the text, he grabbed his shoulder bag and got up. 

“And, if I was smiling, it was simply because Stan said he's driving to school today, and that he decided to pick me up, so I don't have to walk today,” he added with a wink to his sister, stopped to kiss his mom on the cheek and thank her for breakfast, and darted for the door. 

When he closed the door behind him, he stopped and smiled to himself as he saw Stan sitting alone in his parents car, drumming his fingers on he steering wheel, looking surprisingly awake and chipper considering the texts from last night. 

Kenny hoped that meant he had gotten some sleep, after all. 

Stan jumped a little as Kenny opened the door on the passenger side, and Kenny had to pretend to cough into his hand to not show Stan how it made him smile.

“Dude, hey!” Stan beamed, and Kenny couldn't help feeling like Stans good mood was rubbing off on him as well. 

“Morning, dude,” Kenny replied and tried, and failed, to stifle a yawn. 

“You look awfully well rested, does that mean you fell asleep last night, after all?” he asked and glanced at his black haired friend as he started driving slowly along the quiet street. 

“Yep, after a while,” he said, glancing in the rearview mirror, even though they were the only car in sight. 

Stan was an insanely careful driver, and it never failed to amuse his friends.

“Didn't anyone else want a ride?” Kenny asked, suddenly reminded that he was the only one in the car. 

Stan shrugged. 

“Kyle had something to do with the student council before school hours, and I didn't feel like dealing with Cartman this early.” 

Kenny huffed out a laugh. 

“Sure, I don't blame you,” he said, and allowed himself to really take in Stans appearance for a second. 

When he focused on a singular task, and not overthinking everything else, Stan looked so relaxed, so content, and it made him look even more beautiful than usual. His deep blue eyes, the jet black hair hanging in said eyes, his slightly upturned nose, pink full lips, fair, pale skin... 

Shit, Kenny was really in over his head today. 

“So,” he heard himself say, trying to distract himself before he started to drool or something, “what did you do to get your folks to give you the car today?” 

Stan smiled slyly. 

“Nothing, actually,” he said, as he softly pressed the break before a small, deserted intersection. 

“They left early this morning, they're visiting Shelly at college this weekend.” 

Kenny raised his eyebrows, surprised. 

“Really?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. 

“Was it like, a spur of the moment thing? I mean, usually you'd take the opportunity to throw a party or something, right?” 

Stan made a non-committal sound. 

“Nah, dude, I just didn't feel like filling the house with people right now, I guess,” he mumbled, and narrowed his eyes as he drove slowly into the school parking lot. 

Kenny, who had kept his hood up ever since he got into the car to hide the mess that was his hair that day, quickly lifted it off and ran his hand through his hair, and pulled the hood up again before Stan got the chance to see. 

“Yeah, I get that,” Kenny agreed, and looked over at his friend once again when the car came to a halt, perfectly parked on a deserted part of the parking lot. 

The two boys sat in silence for a second, before Stan cleared his throat. 

“I was thinking of inviting some people on Saturday though, just for some gaming and pizza” he added, sending Kenny a questioning look. 

Kenny just nodded, not sure why Stan was looking a him like that. 

“Like, just Kyle, Cartman, you, of course, and maybe Butters, Craig, Tweek, Token, Clyde and Jimmy...” he sighed as he drifted off. 

“Yeah, sure, that sounds fun,” Kenny said, and Stan smiled.

“So, you'd come, then?” Stan asked, his eyes so big and genuine it made Kennys insides flutter for what felt like the thousand time that morning. 

Kenny smiled back at him, and nodded quickly. 

“Of course, dude,” he said, as he grabbed his shoulder bag from the floor.

“You know me dude, just say the word, and I'm there!” 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Stan's POV

Stan was a pretty simple guy, who enjoyed living a pretty simple life. 

Sure, there was things he'd like to change, like how there were animals suffering in the world, or how he wasn't dating a tall, lanky blonde dude, but in general, he was pretty happy to go with the current flow. 

One of the things he particularly enjoyed about said flow, was the tradition of Friday lunches off campus with his friends. 

This Friday was no exception, especially since he currently had a car, and by the time he met up with Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Butters by the main doors of the school building, he was basically starving. 

“So...” Stan started, looking between his friends, bracing himself for the usual argument of where to eat. 

“Taco Bell?” 

“Taco Bell.” 

Everyone turned towards Kyle and Cartman, who both looked mortified at the idea that they had thought of the same thing, at the same time. 

Kenny, who still had the hood of his dark gray hoodie pulled over his head, guaffed out an amused laugh, gaining glares from both Cartman and Kyle. 

“Fine, then,” Stan shrugged, “they have vegetarian options there, so I'm good.” 

“How about we ask the rest of the fellas to join in?” Butters asked cheerfully.

Cartman immediately shook his head harshly. 

“No way dude, we only have room for us in the car, and trying to find a table big enough is a bitch, and everything takes so much longer, and-” 

“Okay, Eric, I get your point!” Butters cut him off quickly, smiling helplessly at Kenny and Stan. 

Kyle, Cartman and Butters all started walking briskly towards the car, and Kenny and Stan followed in their own chill tempo. 

“So, are looking forward to telling Eric that you've already invited Craig and those guys for Saturday?” Kenny asked in a cheerful tone, and Stan grinned back at him. 

“Well, they all said yes, too, so if he wants to be a bitch about it, he'll just have to stay home, won't he?” Stan shrugged, and Kenny shook his head. 

“You know perfectly well that he's capable of bitching at your place as well.” 

Stan smiled smugly. 

“Well, like I said, everyone said yes, and that includes Tweek, and we both know that Cartman is secretly terrified of him, so if he starts acting up, we'll just...” Stan drifted off with anther shrug. 

“Send Tweek on him?” Kenny finished, and Stan grinned. 

“Exactly.” 

\- 

When they finally pulled up to the closest Taco Bell, Stan couldn't wait to get out of the car. The ride might only have taken about five minutes, but with the people currently in the car, it had felt like a small eternity. 

Cartman and Kyle had almost gotten in a physical fight over who was riding shotgun, so Stan had put his foot down and given the seat to Butters, and told the other two that if they didn't behave, they could walk to Taco Bell. 

It really didn't help that Kenny was sitting between them, subtly egging them on for his own amusement. 

Stan might adore close to everything about Kenny, but his enjoyment of riling their two feisty friends up was not one of those things. 

But, now they were finally there, and Stan was pleased when he ended up sitting next to Kenny at the corner booth they all preferred, and since it was a pretty tight squeeze for five people at that booth, they were sitting all close.

Stan felt like he was a sixth grader with a crush, but he almost didn't care, because the rush of being close to Kenny was just too good. 

Butters volunteered to go place everyones order, but Stan knew keeping track of all their food was easier said than done, so he offered to go with him. 

As they stood in line, Stan couldn't stop himself from turning back to glance at Kenny, partly because he enjoyed watching him, but also because he had a weird feeling that something was up with him. 

He was used to Kenny keeping his hood up a lot, but he usually took it off when they were talking or eating, and especially when he was in a good mood, like he seemed to be today. 

“You okay there, Stan?” 

Stan jumped slightly and felt a blush cover up his cheeks as Butters looked at him with a genuine and curious look on his face. 

“Yeah, of course, he replied and smiled back, and they fell back into silence. 

Stan cleared his throat awkwardly, and snuck a quick glance over at Kenny again. What was that on his face? It was hard to see under the hood, but it almost looked like a huge... bruise? 

The eerie feeling that had taken over him last night snuck back under Stans skin. 

But then they were suddenly first in line, and Stan helped Butters place all the orders, and then they carried the five sodas back to the booth. 

As they waited for their food, Stan kept trying to get a good glimpse of Kennys face, but it seemed almost impossible, and when their lunch arrived, he gave up and decided to focus on the light conversation and greasy food instead. 

“What the fuck, Stan?!” Cartman suddenly half-shouted as he checked his phone. 

“What?” Stan asked, very confused and with a mouth full of vegetarian burrito. 

Cartman basically sneered at him. 

“Why the hell is Clyde asking me if he should bring his xbox to your place on Saturday?!” he asked, and Stan caught on, rolling his eyes. 

“Because I invited him and the others, obviously, but now my phone is out of battery again, so he probably had a small aneurysm and thought it was a good idea to ask you instead.” 

Kyle and Kenny both snickered, and even Butters smiled down at his nachos, trying not to be obvious about it. 

“What's the fuss, Eric, you're not scared of a little competition, are you?” Kenny asked with fake innocence in his voice. 

Cartman was about to yell something back, but first he threw his hands out angrily, and accidentally  
slapped Butters, who flinched to the side, knocking over his soda, who splashed all over Kennys hoodie. 

“Oh, great job, Fatass!” Kyle snapped at Cartman, who immediately started blaming Clyde's text for the whole thing, all while poor Butters was desperately trying to dry off Kenny with a bunch of napkins. 

“Dude, chill, it totally wasn't your fault!” Kenny said quickly, tryin to calm down Butters' rampage of napkins. 

“This isn't even my favorite hoodie dude, and I have a shirt under, I'll just...” 

He cut himself off, trying to remove the hoodie without leaving the stall, almost punching Stan in the process, but after a bit of a struggle, he finally managed to pull the soda soaked hoodie off without punching anyone in the face.

Kenny quickly ran a hand through his now messy blonde hair, making it even more messy than it was, and re-tied the black bandana he had clearly worn under the hood around his head again. 

Stan had always loved the way Kenny looked when he wore bandanas like that. 

But this time, it wasn't the cute hair, or bandana, or his eyes or freckles or even the relaxed grin on his face, that caught Stans attention. 

Stan couldn't even find his voice, as he stared at Kennys bruised and beat up face. The right side of his face was all covered in a bruise in varying shades of purple, blue and black, and there was defiantly scars on his face and neck that Stan was positive had not been there before.

What the fuck? 

The part that made him almost loose his mind with fear, however, was how it seemed like nobody but Stan himself was seeing this. 

Kenny was laughing with Butters and Kyle, and Cartman was sulking in the corner, quietly eating his burrito while side-eyeing the others with a cold stare. 

Stan blinked, and shook his head, and for a second, all the scars and bruises seemed to disappear from Kennys skin, before they re-appeared again, almost like a glitch in a video game. 

Stan almost didn't realize that Kenny was now looking straight at him, with a concerned look on his bruised face. 

“You okay dude?” he asked and gave Stans knee a gentle squeeze, which usually would have made Stan all giddy, but right now, he barley noticed it. 

“Ye- uhm, yeah!” 

Stan heard how fake it sounded, and Kenny clearly didn't believe him either, because he fully turned towards him.

Holy shit, those bruises looked so painful. 

“Do you wanna leave or something?” Kenny asked quietly, probably thinking this was something about Stan's dark thoughts last night. 

Stan quickly shook his head. 

“No dude, I'm fine, really!” he said and tried to smile, and focus on Kenny's eyes. 

“I'm just a bit tired, I guess, but thanks anyway.” 

Kenny clearly didn't buy that, but didn't push any further, either, and gave Stans leg one more squeeze before turning back to his food. 

What the fuck was going on? 

\- 

That same night, Stan was sitting on the couch in his living room, a box of half-eaten pizza on the table, the TV set on some old comedy Stan had seen a thousand times, but still secretly enjoyed, but no mater how much he usually enjoyed the movie, tonight his mind was somewhere else. 

Focusing on someone else, to be exact. 

No matter what Stan tried to distract himself, nothing seemed to take his mind of Kenny and the odd scars and horrible bruises he seemed to somehow be covered in, and not covered in, at the same time. 

Earlier he had tried to play some Overwatch with Cartman, but he was so distracted he kept fucking off, and ended up bailing before Cartman unfriended him for life. 

So here he was, hair a mess, in his grey plaid PJ pants and a big hoodie, on the couch, with only his dog, Sparky, to keep him company, at 9:30 PM on a Friday night. 

Pretty damn sad, if he was honest with himself. 

But before Stan could wallow in anymore self-pity, the sound of the doorbell and Sparky's excited barking pulled him out of that state of mind. 

Stan stood slowly, trying to brush the pizza crust crumbles of his hoodie, and for a second he seriously considered just ignoring the door, based on his current appearance and sad state, but in the end, he was too polite to just ignore the door like that. 

He tried to comb his hair with his hand, to no avail, and gently grabbed Sparky's collar so he wouldn't attack whoever was at the other side of the door with wild hugs and kisses, as Stan knew he would if given the chance. 

When Stan finally managed to open the door, he was taken aback by the familiar hooded figure standing on the other side. 

“Oh.” 

If Stan could have slapped himself in that moment, he would have. 

Kenny, who was still standing on the porch, raised his eyebrow and smiled crookedly. 

“Oh to you too, Marsh.” 

Stan grinned dumbly for a second, and then Sparky started pulling towards Kenny, whining softly at the sight of the old friend in the doorway. 

Stan managed to pull the large dog out of the way, and gestured for Kenny to come inside, and when Kenny had closed the door behind him, Stan finally let go of Sparky. 

The old, gray dog bounced happily towards the lanky blonde, basically giving him a bear hug, and Kenny laughed loudly, plopping down on the floor to properly ruffle and hug the large dog. 

Looking at them like that, Stan was sure his heart might burst from the love he felt for the two of them, and the genuine sweetness in their interaction. 

Kenny looked up at him trough his bangs, and grinned boyishly, showing off his white, but gapped and crooked teeth, and Stan felt a blush creeping over his face. 

“So, erm, dude,” Stan started awkwardly, “what... I mean, is everything okay?” 

Kenny stood up and brushed of his torn jeans quickly, before turning towards Stan and shrugging. 

“Yeah dude, I just, I was bored, and I knew you were alone, and honestly, I think we need to talk.” 

We need to talk. 

Those four words echoed inside Stans mind until he was sure he was gonna faint, but then he realized Kenny was smiling casually at him. 

“Stan, you look like a ghost, dude. Chill, I just figured you've been acting a bit out of it lately, and wanted to make sure everything is, you know...” he drifted off and shrugged. 

“Good,” he finished, and raised an eyebrow. 

Stan nodded slowly, and they both made their way over to the couch and sat down, and Stan noticed how Kenny for once didn't lay down, but sat with his legs crossed, facing Stan with a some-what serious expression on his freckly face. 

Freckly, and thankfully not bruised and scarred, at least right now. 

Stan cleared his throat, and nodded towards the pizza box. 

“Want any?” he asked Kenny with a shrug. “I'm not having anymore, so you can just go ahead.” 

Kenny grinned. 

“Cheers,” he said, sounding oddly British for a second, and grabbed a slice and turned towards the TV. 

“Dude, you didn't say Stuck On You was on!” Kenny said cheerily. 

“Man, we must have seen that movie a thousand times in middle school.” 

Stan couldn't help but smile, even though his nerves were still a bit on edge. 

“Yeah, I know,” he said and glanced between the blond on his couch and the TV. 

At first, Stan decided to let Kenny finish his pizza before asking about what it was he came over to talk about, but he quickly realized that Kenny was already way to engrossed in their old favorite movie to remember where he even was. 

Stan was very tempted to just watch his crush for a while, and if the situation was any different, he probably would have, but right now, there was something else he needed to do. 

“So,” Stan said softly, trying to get Kenny's attention. 

Kenny, who had been chuckling at the movie while still stuffing his face with pizza, turned towards Stan and widened his eyes, clearly just remembering where he was. 

“Oh, right!” Kenny said and shook his head with a grin. “Sorry, dude, I got distracted! You know how it is!” 

Stan just nodded and gave a small smile. He knew very well, because Kenny was probably the most spaced out dude in the universe, it was seriously admirable how he could just disappear inside his head at almost all times. 

Kenny, who had just finished his second slice of pizza, turned down the volume on the TV and turned towards Stan again, crossing his legs and putting his hans solemnly in his lap. 

Honestly, it was kind of adorable, like when a tiny puppy tried to look intimidating.

“Okay, so,” Kenny started carefully, and Stan's attention was brought back to the conversation he was low-key dreading. 

“Yeah, so, the reason I came over tonight, and the reason I want to talk to you one on one, it's just, I feel like you've been sorta... off, lately?” 

Stan blinked a couple of times, trying to follow along Kenny's clumsy wording, and nodded carefully, trying to get Kenny to go on. 

Kenny cleared his throat. 

“I mean, I know you struggle with insomnia at times, but lately I feel like it's been happening a lot more, and then, just today, you suddenly started to look at me all weird, like I was scaring you or something?” 

Kenny sighed softly.

“I guess I just need to know you're okay, Stan.” 

The blond boy looked right at him with his bright blue eyes, his whole face showing how genuine he was, and Stans heart skipped a beat. 

“Erm, yeah, I-I guess I did act a little weird earlier today, huh?” Stan said and tried to chuckle, but it honestly just sounded like the most awkward sound Stan had ever produced. 

What was he supposed to say? He supposed he should just lie, to be sure Kenny didn't end up thinking he was insane and never wanted to speak to him again. 

Then again, Stan had never been a very good liar. Especially not to Kenny. 

Fuck, was he really gonna do this? 

“Shit, you're gonna think I'm totally crazy if I tell you the truth, dude...” Stan mumbled and averted his eyes. 

He quickly looked back up as he felt Kennys hand on his own, and the flutter in his chest was back full force. 

“Try me.” 

Kennys voice was so sturdy and genuine, that it somehow managed to get Stan to continue talking. 

“Okay.” 

Stan took a deep breath before he continued talking. 

“So, lately I've been having these weird feelings, not just like normal sadness or stress, but a deep dread, and it comes at all sorts of strange times, it almost feels like something is glitching?” 

Stan shook his head at his own wording, but Kenny was just watching him patiently. 

“Sorry, I know that sounded weird. But it's the best way explain it! It usually passes pretty fast, too,” Stan finished, before taking a deep breath.

“And then, just yesterday, last night, I had one of those moments right after we left Cartmans, so I was already a bit on edge today. So, when we were at lunch, and you removed your hoodie, you looked...” 

Stan paused. 

He simply couldn't look at Kennys face as he said this part, it was too embarrassing. 

“You looked beaten up dude. Or, maybe not beaten up, but worse!” 

The inky haired boy felt his hands starting to shake slightly.

“You had a huge shiner, and other bruises on your face, as well as a lot of scars, old and new ones I hadn't seen before, and even worse, nobody else seemed to notice, and when I blinked, it just, it went away! But then, just as I figured I was just tired and imagining this, it just appeared again, like... like a glitch!” 

Stan was aware he was talking fast, probably too fast, but he needed to get this off his chest, before he chickened out. 

The two boys sat in silence for a while, Kennys hand still on Stans, but none of them really said anything or moved. 

Finally, Stan decided to peak at Kennys face, and the look on the other boys face took him by surprise. 

Kenny looked like he had seen a ghost, and probably something even crazier than that too, because his eyes were so wide Stan worried they were gonna pop out of their sockets, and his skin so pale his freckles stood out on his skin like they were drawn on by markers. 

Stan felt a growing feeling dread in his gut, as he realized he had probably freaked Kenny out too much this time, and that he was probably never going to talk to him again. 

“Kenny...?” Stan tried softly, and Kenny looked at him and blinked a few times before he spoke carefully. 

“Dude, now we really need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my Tumblr @SparklesandTrash for more South Park content, and leave a comment if you enjoyed or have any critiques!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are super appreciated!
> 
> Check out my Tumblr, Sparkles-and-Trash if you’re interested in my other writings


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